Confessions of a Submissive

(Mm) (oral, rim) (humil)

Kneeling naked in front of him, I looked up lovingly at his huge balls and thick teenage dick dangling above me. I was not allowed to suck the dick. Not yet! Not yet! Noah said I had to earn that. Imagine me, an adult male of substantial means and considerable intelligence being told that by a sixteen-year-old boy. I had to earn his dick! I had to earn the right to lick and suck his dick! And thus far, apparently, I had not earned the right because all I had been allowed to do was smell his dick and occasionally kiss it. With his hands on his slender hips, he kind of thrust his groin toward me, and the big fat flaccid dick swung and bounced over my face. It drove me nuts. I had to have it. I would do anything to have it!

I was always naked for our little sessions. I was naked to show that I was nothing but a cock-crazy faggot, out of my mind for teenage dick. And it was true. I had put the rest of my life on hold for this cocky young jock stud. I did not hang out with friends. I did not watch TV or go to films much. I rarely visited with my work associates. I spent most of my time—all of my time—trying to figure out how the fuck I could earn Noah’s juicy thick dick. Noah told me that, as a fucking faggot, I should be naked most of the time. I walked around my house with a raging hard-on totally bare-assed simply because it somehow connected me to Noah.


Noah also told me I could not masturbate without his permission. Now, let me be clear. Noah, this sixteen-year-old high school boy, had absolutely no way of knowing when I was on my own, whether I jerked off or not! I mean, how could he know? But the irony is that I willingly followed his orders. I had been told by the kid to play with my dick a lot and to think of him, but not ever to cum without his permission. I had been fucking edging now for weeks while my hefty dick bounced and leaked all over the place, as I spent my days and nights thinking only about Noah, a teenage jock!


Four days after I starting edging, I lost control and shot a load. Because I wanted so to please this gorgeous kid, I told him. He was furious with me. He threatened never to see me again, and I cried. Me, a grown man, I cried and begged him not to abandon me! He settled on a suitable punishment. He took a wooden spoon from my kitchen and beat my testicles with it. He was not gentle or careful or considerate. My nuts were so sore and swollen that for two days that I had to stay in bed and could not go to work.


Noah is not a kind boy in any way. He sent me a dozen or so photos of himself over the internet. In some, he is partially clothed, in others naked. He says they are for me to look at while I masturbate each night for four or five hours. I am to play with my dick and look at the photos and think of him, but I am not allowed to cum. If I should again lose control and cum without permission, would I tell Noah? Of course, I would! I would tell him, knowing that I would receive an even worse punishment than last time. I would have no resistance not to divulge my transgressions to the young jock!


Did I mention he is fucking my sister? That’s how I met him. My sister is a sophomore in high school, and she started dating and fucking Noah a few months ago. You may be shocked to hear me say that a girl so young is getting fucked, but so many teens fuck and suck nowadays that it is hardly shocking. If a girl like Dena wants to have a hot stud of a boyfriend like Noah, she has got to be willing to put out. That is just the way it is. And to be honest with you, I go nuts when I think about my sweet little sister taking Noah’s huge meaty hunk of fuckmeat in her pussy and ass and mouth. And believe me, Noah tells me in intricate detail about their fuck sessions. He tells me that if I am good and earn it, he will someday allow me to lick my little sister’s pussy juice off of his cock after he fucks her. It is sick, I know, but I get so hard thinking about being able to serve him in this way. By now, you must realize that I will do anything for Noah.


So what kinds of things do I do for him, if I cannot suck or lick his dick? Well, I am a bit ashamed to tell you. I lick and kiss his feet a lot. He had beautifully arched jock feet. He lets me lick the sweat off of them. And, this is not easy for me to write—I lick and eat out his ass. That’s right. When he visits me, he loves to sit right down on my face and watch porno on the TV as he plays with his dick. And while he jerks his fuckmeat and tosses back a beer, I lick and suck his sweaty teenage asshole.


The first time he told me to do that, I almost refused. I say almost because I have no willpower with Noah. He is so fucking handsome. And within minutes of my tongue being buried up his sweaty pink pucker, I knew that this was where I belonged. This was my proper place in life. I know you must be disgusted by me. I know you must think me a real loser that I would stoop this low for some high school jock, but honest to God, I cannot help it! I go out of my mind when he allows me to lick his sweaty armpits. I sit on the floor, naked in front of him beating my meat (without cumming) while he plays with his fat dick and lovingly describes how he fucks the cunt of my little sister. I cry when I am alone at night and think, ‘If only he would fuck me instead of Dena!’


Sometimes, when I am eating out his ass, and he is watching porno, he cums. Upon occasion, he is kind enough to shoot his fuck load onto a plate, and then, if I have been a good little faggot, I am allowed to lick his thick sperm off the plate. It is both salty and bitter with an amazingly thick consistency. I love Noah’s fuck slop!


One time as a gift, he brought me a rubber that he wore when he fucked Dena. He usually never wears condoms when he fucks cunt. Noah believes it is the girl’s problem to protect herself. However, with this particular fuck, he had worn one and filled it with his fuck sauce. He did it just for me, which somehow made me feel really warm and wonderful. It’s sick, I know. He gave me the cum-filled, pussy-coated condom and told me that as a gift, I would be allowed to suck and lick the condom clean, and, believe me, I savored it, but cute young Noah is something of a trickster. Or, perhaps, you would say a prankster. After I had thoroughly cleaned the condom with my mouth and tongue, he told me that it was not from Dena and him at all. He had found the dirty condom in a dumpster. I puked, and he roared with laughter. He thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. And I guess maybe for him it was. A naked, grown businessman, on the floor, puking because he had just sucked clean some stranger’s cum-filled condom and some unknown woman’s cunt juice. I vomited until I shook with dry heaves. Noah shook with laughter.


As a reward for being a good sport, he allowed me to kiss his dick. When I kiss his dick, it is a special event. I try to kiss it as slowly and lovingly as possible, so I can remember the smell and taste of his dick when I am alone. I plant long slow kisses on the wrinkled flaccid but still tremendously thick dick stalk. I kiss the fat dickhead and piss hole as if I were kissing a lover’s mouth. Sometimes, but very rarely, he will allow me to kiss his erect dick. My God, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Noah is slender, but quite athletically built, and his erect fuckmeat is a thing of great beauty. For a sixteen-year-old, he has really well hanging balls, nice and loose in a low hanging sack, and if I have earned it, he will sometimes let me lick his testicles.


And how do I earn these special treats? I blush to tell you, but since I have gone this far, I might as well continue. I earn the right to serve Noah’s body by humiliating and degrading myself for his pleasure. For example, Noah will suddenly say that he is hungry, and we should go to Mickey D’s for some burgers, but he makes me dress in some little kid’s tee shirt that he got from someplace and an obscene pair of pink shorts. He loves to take me out in public, dressed like some kind of crazed faggot freak. If I am allowed to wear my own clothes, he might tell me to take my dick out of my pants as we sit at a table. One time, he ordered me to go into the men’s room and piss in my soft drink cup. Then he watched while I drank the piss, as I ate my burger.


We went to the mall food court once and bought Chinese food. He took me into the men’s room and made me shove the fried rice up my ass, and I had to keep it there until we got home, where I shit it out and eat it.


One time, he had me drive him to a truck stop, and he took me into the toilet and told me to strip. He took my clothes and left me there, totally bare-assed in the middle of nowhere! I curse him, while my dick throbbed with painful erection thinking about him.


I know you are disgusted with me, but if you could see Noah, if you could talk to him, you would understand his hold over me. He does show me some kindness. He brings his dirty, filthy, sweaty, stinking jockstraps over for me to suck clean for him. I am allowed to sleep with his jockstrap in my mouth, sucking on it all night. If I have been particularly good at sucking his ass or licking his feet or armpits, he might reward me by spitting in my mouth. I know he kisses my little sister with that sexy mouth, and what I would not give to be kissed by Noah, but I think perhaps I have to settle for him gobbing into my mouth.


One of the most embarrassing things he does to me is when he comes over with some of his jock buddies from his high school. Five or six sexy horny teenage boys and I have to serve them beer and dance naked for them. I am not a dancer! Let us get that straight. I make a total fool of myself. They yell for me to shake my worthless ass more and to make my dick and balls jiggle when I dance. They make me masturbate without cumming for them. The one reward in all of this humiliation is that I get to suck Noah’s friends’ dicks. That is their reward for tormenting the fag and my reward as well. And I love the taste of those sweet smooth young teenage fuckers. Noah will have me suck five, six, or seven of them. Eat their asses too, which they love since so many of their girlfriends will not suck ass! Do I ever get to suck Noah’s dick during these parties? NO WAY!


I also have to cook meals for Noah and his buddies and serve them naked. They throw me table scraps, and I have to eat them naked off the floor like a dog. They even take me outside and play fetch with me, as I crawl across my backyard lawn retrieving whatever it is they throw.


Things have recently spiraled downward. Noah has started a Tumblr page for me all about my faggot obsession with teen boys. He has posted dozens of photos of me naked and playing with my dick. He thinks it is hilarious without realizing that I could easily lose my prestigious high-paying job. My career could be destroyed. My life totally ruined. And all because of my stupid obsession over a teenage jock who fucks my little sister.


How did this all come about? I am sure he could tell I was hot for him the first time I met him over at my parent’s house. The truth is that I could not take my eyes off of him. And that is funny, because, while I am gay, I am a very discreet, somewhat closeted gay. I had a few short-term relationships, but they never seemed to work out. Noah knew at once that I was instantly taken with him. And who would not be? Those sexy, pouty lips, and those dreamy eyes—and the enormous dick lump in his pants.


I went with Dena to watch Noah at a school swim meet. He is a diver and fills a Speedo, as I have never seen in my life. After the tournament, he came out to greet us, still in his Speedo. I threw an instant erection, which I am sure Noah noticed. He began to look at me with that flirting look that was quite blatant. While we chatted, he would reach down to squeeze and rub his dick lump. Poor Dena was so in love with her boyfriend that she never even noticed that he was enticing me. As we spoke, he would reach out and squeeze my arm or touch my shoulder. I really thought I was going to shoot a load in my pants. I almost had to run from him to keep my sanity.


A few days later, he simply showed up at my apartment. I had been working from home, and I had not even shaved or showered or anything. There he stood at the door, in his tight jeans, a tighter tee shirt, and a light jacket. He told me Dena was busy with something, and he thought he would come to hang with me for a bit! Yeah, right!


He just took over my apartment. Chatting about nothing at all, he tossed his jacket on a chair, walked right into my kitchen and got himself a beer. When I reminded him that he was underage, he just laughed and sucked on the lip of the beer bottle. My dick was leaking like crazy almost immediately. He had me! Before that first evening ended, he allowed me to crawl over to him, so I could kiss and smell the dick lump in his jeans. I never even saw his cock that first night, but after he left, I was immediately crazy with loneliness and longing.


Being a natural bastard, he stayed away for a week. Stupidly, I kept asking Dena about Noah. She said they had been together almost every night. She told me how much she loved him. I really almost lost my mind. My co-workers became concerned for me. I could tell no one of my longings. And then he telephoned. He told me he was naked with a hard-on. He told me to get naked and hard as well. I almost cried as I stripped. I told him how much I missed him and begged him to come over. He told me he was hard and leaking. He ordered me to get mine leaking as well and to tell him when it was nice and drippy. I did as he ordered. He told me to describe my leaking dick to him and to tell him how much I wanted him. I opened up completely. I spoke of my obsession and how I thought of him every day. I told him my dick was always hard thinking about him. And then, he laughed and said that he was not naked at all, but sitting in a restaurant with his buddies, and that I was on speakerphone. They were all laughing at me.


That was how it started. A few days later, Noah showed up at my apartment and said he had just fucked Dena. He told me in detail how he has fucked her cunt and ass while I stood naked in front of him and masturbated while he shared his experience with me. It was then that he suggested that I not cum without his permission. I still had not seen his dick. Two visits later, he had me sit in a chair, without touching my dick, while he went into the bathroom and stripped naked. Then, he walked around me in my chair, showing off his magnificent young body. I could not touch him, of course. I could not touch myself either, but my dick erected at once and began spurting pre-fuck. He posed in front of me, sticking out his ass, rubbing his balls and dick, flexing his muscles. I sobbed with desire for this boy! He put one big naked foot between my legs up on the chair in which I sat and wiggled his toes against my scrotum. I howled and shot my load at once. I spattered my own body and his foot with cum. It was so powerful that I could not stop trembling for some time. He told me I was a naughty boy for cumming without permission. Then he ordered me to lick my own sperm off his naked foot.


And that was the start of our games. The big question is, where will they end? Each time he visits, he seems to become progressively controlling and increasingly sadistic. The first time that he made me orally service his high school friends, I refused. I did not see him for two weeks. I almost had a mental breakdown. When I crumbled, he forgave me only after I had sucked the dicks of six of his high school buddies who laughed and called me names while I did it. From a respectable businessman, I had become a desperate teenage cocksucker! Where would this end?