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Nancy Boy Chrissy: The Bed-wetting Sissy

by Paster Deacon Fred (featuring Christian poems from Sister Taffy Crockett)

Synopsis

Christopher's parents know that Christian Scientists have proven that bed wetting is caused by a homosexual's preoccupation with his genitals during sleep. Little homo boys spend so much time dreaming about penises, their very own penis leaks at least four times during the night trying to simulate an massive, repeated ejaculation. Knowing this, Christopher's parents try every secular method known to man to cure his shockingly lewd bed-wetting habits. They even have doctors remove the little fire hydrant between his legs and have him hooked up to a catheter. But the tube comes loose in the night and little Chrissy's sheets are, once again, a mess! After all secular methods fail, his parents finally realize that the only cure comes from the Word of God (The Holy Bible) after they find out that Christopher's classmates eagerly followed God's commandment in Deuteronomy 21:19-21 and put an end to Christopher's sinning - ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Summary

Do you know someone whose child seems a bit effeminate? Does he dress a little too neatly? Take too much time with his schoolwork? Is he suspiciously polite to grown-ups? Well, "Nancy Boy Chrissy, the Bed Wetting Sissy" is just the holiday gift to provide the tools his parents will need to embarrass and taunt him back to masculinity.


This beautifully illustrated book tells the story of Christopher Pansy, a 12-year old boy who is gayer than a May Pole. He is a constant humiliation to his normal, Christian parents. While other boys in the neighborhood are riding bikes and killing stray cats, Christopher loves to prance about, looking through his telescope, making maps of the stars and taking hot food to shut-ins.


His parents try to humiliate him with derisive rhymed chants (CD included), snakes, spankings and the hot side of a Sears iron, but nothing seems to work. Finally, some of the neighborhood real boys corner Christopher after school behind the gymnasium. They strip the little sissy of all his girlish clothes, righteously tell him that Jesus hates fems.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor EFFEMINATE, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.
I Cor 6:9

Then they sodomize him and throw stones at him until he dies. After this exciting chapter, the Lord Jesus blesses Christopher's parents with a real boy, Rodney. When Rodney is 7, he meets a boy at school who seems gay so his parents teach him the chants they used to mock his dead brother Christopher. In this way, children hearing this delightful story, not only learn a valuable lesson about what happens to queers, they also have the fun of repeating and memorizing the catchy, inventive jeers that they will be able to use against their suspiciously fey playmates. Parents will want to pick up a copy of "Nancy Boy Chrissy, the Bed-wetting Sissy" for their boys. CD of songs included.

Celebrity Review

As someone who has had his children say a firm "Howdy" face-first to a cinder block wall many a time for looking at me funny, I can't imagine what I would do if one of them had gone and pissed in they bed. But I know that the Lord Almighty would have lent me some of His ferocious wrath to deal with any leaky pansy. That is why I am glad to see that this little homo twerp in this book was killed before the fifth chapter. I couldn't have stomached another damn chapter with a fag in it when I was reading this to my grandchildren. I can tell you one thing: He would have been gone on page one if I was around. I would have also slapped around his weak-kneed pansy parents for not just admitting to everyone that their little fag was in Hell instead of having that damned funeral in a Christian church in chapter six that just makes a mockery of Jesus' love. I couldn't have hated that little Christopher fag more if I was Jesus Himself.

Reverend Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church

Customer Reviews


5 out of 5 starsGLORIOUS! , December 8, 2001

Reviewer: Mrs. Betty Bowers from Atlanta, GA,

In a world awash in the secular madness of so-called "tolerance," our children are constantly brainwashed with the outrageous notion that people who rudely ignore how we tell them to live their lives can actually be "happy." Against this heretical backdrop of laissez faire (French for "a lesbian tryst") morality, it is heartening to see a book not afraid to trumpet the good, solid Christian values of wrath and punishment that our forefathers, the Puritans, had wished for this once-godly country. I don't know a single True Christian father who wouldn't rather have his son turn out to a rapist, a murderer or marry a colored girl than choose to be a limp-wristed Nancy Boy. This book will be a blessing to all Christian families who see the early signs of prissiness. It will give them the courage to beat the stuffing out of a light-in-the-sneakers toddler before it is too late and they are forced to throw their son out of the house with Christian love. Remember, the Lord told us: When you have a prodigal son, kill the fatted calf - when you have a homosexual son, kill the son! Praise the Lord!


5 out of 5 starsSome Mighty Fine Reading, December 03, 2001
Reviewer: T. Broderick from Freehold, Iowa.
"I only wish this book had be written 15 years sooner. I teach a Fatherhood Class for soon to be released inmates and I always, always, make sure that they know this story by heart!"


5 out of 5 starsStarts up where the Bible leaves off!, December 11, 2001
Reviewer: S. Smith ex-father of Two.
"When i readed this book thye first time I know right then that Michael and Alexander Tyler would have loved it. If they wasn't dead of course. They were all the time peeing the bed. But I still read it to them up in heaven and I know they can hear me. Hey, Michael! Hey Alexander Tyler, Papa loves you! One day when I get out of here I am going to have another baby boy and I want the first book I read to it be "Chrissy The Bed-weting Sissy".


5 out of 5 starsWish I'd Known About This Book Sooner!, December 7, 2001
Reviewer: J. Nicolosi Freehold, Iowa.
"If I'd had this book when my ex-son was a child, perhaps I could have beaten the evil homosexual demons out of him at age four, and I wouldn't have had to throw him out of the house at sixteen. Well, at least now there's hope for my grandchildren... and I'm keeping a VERY close eye on them. I strongly recommend every Christian who has any children nearby, whether their own or in their neighborhood."


5 out of 5 starsI love the pictures!, December 8, 2001
Reviewer: A. Yates Tulsa County Jail.
"I think this is the best book in the world! Second only to the Bible. I'll be sure and rekomind it to all my friends, family and cellmates as the perfect Holiday gift"